Therapy for Perfectionism
In-person and online therapy for perfectionism, based in Brentwood, Los Angeles
How We Work with Perfectionism
On the outside, your life may look composed, competent, and successful. On the inside, you might be exhausted, managed by a relentless inner critic, and living with a constant fear of failure. This is the painful, lonely experience of perfectionism: a pattern that promises control but often delivers perfectionism, anxiety, self-criticism, and burnout.
At Brentwood Therapy Collective, we understand this pattern deeply. We offer clear, compassionate therapy for high-achieving adults in Los Angeles, CA, who are ready to move from rigid self-criticism to a more flexible and humane way of living and working.
Our work is warm, direct, and collaborative. We use a Psychodynamic and Relational approach, integrating Mindfulness and Internal Family Systems (IFS), to get to the root of perfectionism. This isn't about simply managing symptoms; it's about understanding what causes perfectionism for you.
Together, we'll slow down and get curious about the "rules" you live by. We’ll explore how these patterns may have once protected you, and then gently begin to challenge their costs. We practice separating your self-worth from your achievements, allowing you to pursue excellence without the burnout, anxiety, and disconnection it so often costs.
Signs & Patterns of Perfectionism
Perfectionism wears many masks. It's not just about striving for a flawless outcome; it's a way of thinking. Common perfectionist traits include:
All-or-nothing thinking (it's either perfect or a total failure)
Procrastination or avoidance driven by an intense fear of failure (a pattern often called perfectionist-based procrastination)
A loud, relentless inner critic and intense shame over small mistakes
Self-worth that is entirely tied to your achievements or productivity
Feeling like "a perfectionist but only about certain things" (also known as selective perfectionism)
People-pleasing, difficulty delegating, and chronic resentment or burnout
Perfectionism in relationships, which can look like over-functioning or holding others to impossible standards
Feeling crushed by socially prescribed perfectionism (unspoken rules from family, culture, or social media)
Who We Work With
We often work with high-achieving adults, entrepreneurs, graduate students, new parents, and creatives who want excellence without exhaustion. We have specific experience with the pressures of perfectionism in women. We also support clients whose high standards are causing deep anxiety or stress or creating significant relationship challenges.
What to Expect
In our first meeting, we’ll discuss what brings you to therapy now. We will look beyond the symptoms of perfectionism to understand your personal story and the history of these high standards. This session is a collaborative, non-judgmental space to explore the function perfectionism has served in your life. The primary goal is to see if our relational approach feels like the right fit for you. You’ll leave with a clear sense of how we work and a compassionate understanding of the patterns we can explore together.
How Therapy Helps You Grow
A common fear is that therapy will make you lose your "edge." Our goal is the opposite: we work toward healthy striving, not lower standards. The aim is to help you overcome perfectionism's rigid rules so you can perform sustainably and live more joyfully.
In our work, you will learn to:
Replace rigid, invisible rules with flexible, values-based goals
Soften the inner critic and build genuine self-compassion
Practice accepting imperfection and tolerating uncertainty without spiraling
Separate your self-worth from your outcomes, rebuilding your self-esteem from the inside out
Work skillfully with procrastination by addressing the anxiety underneath
Understand how perfectionism interacts with your identity and culture
For some clients, especially women noticing attention or executive-function strain, we also explore the intersection of ADHD in women and perfectionism. When useful, we can coordinate with assessment or referral resources.
Frequently Asked Questions
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Perfectionism is often a mix of temperament, family expectations, cultural messages, and early experiences where your performance felt tied to safety or belonging. It's a learned strategy. Our work helps you understand your unique story and update these old rules to fit your adult life.
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This is the most common and important question. We don't aim to take away your edge; we aim to make it sustainable. We help you change the process, shifting from rigid control and self-criticism to skilled flexibility and resilience, so you can perform at a high level and recover faster from setbacks.
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Procrastination is often a protective mechanism. The fear of not meeting your own high standards can be so overwhelming that it feels safer to not start at all. We address this by practicing how to tolerate "good enough," regulating the anxiety during the process, and breaking the all-or-nothing cycle.
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Embracing imperfection is less about intellectual acceptance and more about relational practice. We start by noticing your anxiety when things aren't "perfect." By slowing down this anxious moment, we connect with the vulnerable "not good enough" part of you that your perfectionism is trying to protect. As you cultivate self-compassion for that internal feeling, the external standards naturally begin to soften, allowing for more realness and connection.
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Yes. Coaching is often focused on strategies and external behaviors. Therapy, while also practical, goes deeper to understand the root causes. We explore the "why am I a perfectionist," heal the parts of you that feel "not good enough," and help you make durable, lasting changes from the inside out.
Let’s Get Started
A vibrant life is doable. Let's build yours together.